It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize