So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
