So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
worst night to have a conscience
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
