New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Enjoy the penises
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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