Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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