you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
