I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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