ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
