you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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