just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
