Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize