Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
