NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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