is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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