it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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