I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
