It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
