So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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