If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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