ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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