it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
there's paper in my vomit.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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