Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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