Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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