I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
