lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
