so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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