I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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