If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
This house was built for laser tag.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
