so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize