We're facebook friends in real life
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I need to sanitize my soul.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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