dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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