in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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