we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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