No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize