Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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