i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize