in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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