Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The air was thick with penises
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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