white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
