I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
