Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You ruined the universe
Randomize
