the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
