Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
