ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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