Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
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