At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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