I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
