that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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