Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
