i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
