This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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