I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
