Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
