I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
