We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
