I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
