I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize