I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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