Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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