Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
