I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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